First published on www.sheenlightened.com on September 22, 2015
If you've been interested in or have followed my work with She Enlightened, chances are you have an amazing heart. Those who seek out meditation, healing principles, and peace are those who want to not only feel empowered in themselves, but to inspire others to step into the same.
As helpers, we find a practice that we love and want to bring to others - but many times, it is not always possible to take it to the audience we want to serve or help in the way that we desire to help.
For instance: this summer I have not had a conventional job. I have mostly been writing. My work is always grounded in helping women and girls. Looking for a position in the nonprofit sector with women and girls was not easy - there was a lot of rejection on opportunities I had put my whole heart into, so sure that I was going to take on that work and help in the way I knew I was meant to.
This led to a stream of worries from my ego/mind: oes this mean you aren't good at helping? Aren't good at what you do or take on? Should I look into an alternate profession?
These awful stories can play out in any area of your life - helping a friend or family member overcome or cope with a physical or mental illness; raising children; volunteering.
And when you're rejected or can't help in the way that only YOU can help, it doesn't just hit on the level of behavior, such I'll do better next time, maybe that tool doesn't work for him or her like it does for me, etc. It hits on the level of your vocation, your purpose, and your meaning in the scheme of humanity.
I am here to tell you:
There is plenty of opportunity, and it is all beyond your wildest dreams.
The ego wants to see you take this as a once-and-for-all defeat.
If you put your desire to help out there and listen to the signs around you, the universe will guide you to solutions.
Remember all of those who failed and were rejected over and over - Oprah, J.K. Rowling, Kerry Washington, Steve Jobs.
How to Surrender:
1). RELEASE. I used to think release was only for romantic relationships or tired old notions/thoughts. It is important to release everything. Do not make your work or your manner of helping into who you are. The fact that you want to help is who you are, and no one - no one - can reject that, take that away from you, or change it, except you.
2). Be Open to other Successes. As I said above, the manner in which you help and succeed isn't who you are. It is okay if it changes. If you love to volunteer your time and haven't been able to find exactly what you want, maybe you have another gift that you can bring forth that will be exactly what someone else needs.
Play with your methods of helping others. Make it joyful. Make it fun.
3). Expand your Heart Even More. Being open to other successes allows you to see what others actually need, instead of what you think they need. This will take the pressure off of you, off of your work, and allow the Universe or God to work through you. Allow opportunities to come to you. Watch magic happen on its own. Every opportunity we perceived as "missed" is a lesson you need to learn well.