How to Forgive Someone Who has Left your Life

During Fall, we mimic the change of our external world.

Fall is a time of pulling into ourselves for warmth and reflection, and coping with the stark reality of who we want to see ourselves becoming. With crisp winds comes an alertness. A new consciousness. The anticipation of a rebirth. 

Energy changes. That's why there seems to be a higher number of breakups - whether familial, romantic, or platonic - during this time of year. 

When someone moves out of your life, it seems the floodgates are opened to questions and things we do not understand. Why we were left, why a loving energy shifted, why a season for us has ended, what we did wrong, how we are supposed to close that hole, where that love is supposed to go now. As humans, we want to make sense of it. We want to have those questions answered. That maybe if we can organize it in our minds and the chronology in our lives, maybe can properly deal with it. 

In the same vein that you trusted that person to never leave your life, we need to turn inward and trust ourselves. That we are in a place that will be a growth opportunity for us. That knowing the answer is not what will help us achieve a higher sense of self. As Caroline Myss puts it:

By letting go of our need to know why things have happened as they have, we reach a state of tranquility. In order to achieve that inner peace, however, we have to embrace the healing energy of forgiveness and release our lesser need for human, self-determined justice. 

In short, the answer is to see your understanding of the situation differently. When you wonder why someone left, you are holding on to their leaving. This opens the doors to the possibility of anger, resentment, betrayal, and victimhood - the "human justice" that Caroline was speaking of. These emotions do not serve you, or your future self. 

When we accept that we are being taught a lesson, we see the innocence within the other person, acknowledge our pain in a healthy way, and understand that change is a constant that we cannot control (and that that's okay). 

There is a very simple mantra that you can use, while either imagining yourself, or the person you believe has harmed you:

I forgive you, and I release you. 

When you sit with this mantra for long enough, your reality of the situation begins to shift. It helps you place the image of that person within the knowledge that you accept where they are in their life, that you accept where you are in your life, and that you can energetically release the hold that their leaving has upon you, opening you up to creative possibilities for the future. 

Not for them. But for you.

You deserve to be free. You deserve to let go. As much as anyone else in this world, you deserve your own love - and for love to be all that dwells in your body. 

Welcome to the season of transformation.